Mac for MacMillan Cancer Support

another day and Pete is still ill
last Wednesday and Thursday he looked so well ...and then wham !
he just has no energy at all ..his head is fuzzy ...and there is that little cough ..that he hasn't noticed ...but I have
and my heart sinks ..
so I go through the motions of living ..whilst he is upstairs sleeping ..
Im downstairs
washing up ..ironing ..hovering ..all the things he has always done
I miss him so much just being by me ..and I hate him being so ill
and its very hard to stay focused and positive and get my work done
but tomorrow we will see his surgeon ..and I am thinking of talking to Tracy ..I have that scream caught in my throat again
..so I write it down here instead of screaming

every day on Facebook I put what makes me smile ...every day something has to make me smile ..
because I am scarred of loosing me
Pete always says Im always laughing and always smileing
no..... he says I would laugh if my fanny was on fire ...LOL
but its bloody hard to do it some days ...but if I dont ..then I am gone ..and this sad me is here ...and Pete dosnt need that sad me ...he needs me
so I smile

this week Im sorting out the delayed wigs
and the Etsy custom orders

Ebay sales ...Im waiting for the bubble wrap to come then they will go out too

5 comments:

Mikka Liest said...

You're so brave for him. I keep you both in my thoughts and send a lot of wishes your way...

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers and positive thoughts for Pete and big hugs for you.

~~Lin

kar120c said...

Connie,
I wish I could hold you in my arms and take all your pain and sorrow away. I wish I could lay my hand on your beloved hubby and make him well. My heart aches for you. I send you my love.
Janie from the US

kar120c said...

And dammit, I meant Carrie.
Janie

Bunnie said...

Carrie you must stay positive for him, cheerie and strong. It gives him somthing special, a positive energy of some kind...
I am being ill for a while now and know how important it is- the positive smile.