Rainbow of Stars

Rainbow of Stars, originally uploaded by sleepingelf.

at last its done ..

what a difference a week can make

I have opened my shop again and am now taking orders 
the back orders should be all out by next week ..and new orders July 


I have reduced some of the dolls right now on Etsy 
and I have some new bears for sale and Im selling off some of my own collection  



I have got used to Pete not being with me now ...I lost him a long time ago ..when he became so ill  ..and have got used to being on my own
but I will never get over how he died ...ever
that I will have to live with ..but I have no regrets ..everything was said that should have been said, and I did everything within my power to keep him well
now I will keep my last promise to him ...to live ...never forget him ..but I have to live ..and love ..and be happy ..and he made me promise
he didnt want me to be a wailing widow ...he wanted me to be.. me ...Im trying

They say everything happens for a reason ...be dammed if I can see why I lost Pete .. ...I dont believe in God ..but I do believe in Karma and the human spirit .. and  Fate , Destiny  and Lady Luck ..and they are leading me by the hand ..and I will follow

1 step forward ...2 steps back

I cant believe its been almost 2 months ...and still everyday throws up its challenges ... back orders are slowly going out ...much slower than I thought ..but I still spend most my days trying to sort out this hell that Im living in

Paperwork and even more paperwork ...wondering when I will feel anything like normal ..and not drowning all the time :(
I cant remember feeling anything other than sick to my stomach ....

bad week ..June started out bad