another bad couple of days

Im exhausted
and wonder how on earth I will get work done ..Pete had a pretty good recovery after  the head swelling thing

then another whammy yesterday .his heart
in the early hours he woke ..then woke me ..cut a long story short
I rushed him into hospital ..again
his heart is beating way to fast and has gone out of rhythm..its either the Chemo or an underlying heart defect that has just reared its head

Im floored ..just floored ..he hasnt bounced back at all from this and is still in bed
the Demons came to vistit me in the night and left me scarred and worried sick about the future

I cry a lot ..its like being a child again ..I want my husband back to normal ..I want our life back

then an old friend phoned me this morning
he gave me my fight back

"Carrie Attwood let something hurt her Pete ..its not gonna happen"
and he is right
Im going to bitch slap that cow back to were it came from


Im not letting C use up all my energy crying and worrying about what could happen

I have work to do ..a house to run and a bussiness to keep going

and more than anything I have to love and care for my husband ..who is the most wonderful person I have ever known 

and Im going to do it so Im not going to waist any more time blubbering today

today were at home 

tommorow all day hospital
everything I have read about Cancer ..to beat it is an up hill battle ..but its going to have to battle if it wants to take my Pete

Bracken

Bracken, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..happy new year xx.

well I have finally managed to get them listed on Ebay
http://stores.ebay.com/thesleepingelf

£10.00 fro every sale will go to MacMillan Cancer Support
both Pete and I are thrilled with how Milli is going
and so far this week I have raised £40.00 from other sales too

Pete is much better today ..his head is still hurting ..and the med he is on is making him drowsy ..but a far cry from Thursday

3 of the other nodes on his body are shrinking ..so we are optimistic
thats its working

the scan next week will tell us if it is ..if it is ..they will put him on steroids untill the Chemo has done its work ..

but today ..its not a bad day for us at all xx

UPDATE

Pete was rushed into hospital yesterday 
he has been doing so amazingly well ...but this week he started feeling a bit fuzzy headed and had flu like symptoms 
which can happen on this drug he is on 
god it was terrible ...he was in agony ..scarred me shitless 


His doctor thinks the chemotherapy either bought on a mother of a migraine 
in which case it will be gone tommorow 
or the drug  is making the brain swell ..either that or the cancer has reached the brain 
after a whole day of agony ..steroids ..injections to stop him being sick ..by evening he was getting slightly better ..and had stopped being sick 
if its a migraine ..he will be Ok in 24hrs 
if its the Chemo drug ..on the steroids and anti-sickness drugs he will be better in 48 hrs 
if its on his brain ...he wont 


so we came home ..exhausted 


were booked in for a scan next week ... and the  results will be through quickly as his Chemo is on hold .he cant have it again untill they find out if has cancer  on his brain ..the chemo will be stopped and he will have radiotherapy 


 ..it has been a lousy 24hrs ..

Milli

Milli, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..happy new year xx.

and here she is
I feel quite emotional about her ...she was a labour of love
for someone I love ..
without him ..I would have never have been who I am today
this was Pete`s brainchild ...and is for him xx

100% will go to MacMillan Cancer Support

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320638632897&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT#ht_1810wt_1139

its cold outside !

photographing some of the new elves, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..CHRISTMAS IS COMMING ...

so far today its not stopped snowing ..
the roads are appalling ...nothing is going nowhere
Were snuggled up in home ..log fire glowing and Yankie Candles burning
Christmas TV on ..kids are at friends ..and its lovely
going to make Pete some Vege - low fat low sugar mince pies LOL
I feel quite festive ..
The snow is falling thick and fast
and dont care as long as we can get to the hospital Monday for Petes second lot of Chemo .
.I have a 4x4 so we should be OK
looks like the only things moving today are the 4x4s

Im finishing this weeks wigs to go out Tuesday ...our post is diabolical right now ..and post has slowed right down
so I dont expect anything else to arrive before Christmas

update

I cannot begin to write about what we are going through

I had no idea my world would fall apart like this ...

my most precious husband has advanced cancer and we and our family are devastated 

..I am asking for help .were I can get it .my Daughter is helping me to get out orders and dolls paid for 

this are our priority ..they have to be ...it is my job ..and I have to look after my family too 

questions about future orders ...I promise I will get around to them ...but its taking me time 

orders  are coming in thick an fast from my site ..all will be dispatched by the Christmas deadline

any missing orders will be replaced

if you haven't received your order 

E.MAIL ME YOUR FULL NAME ADDRESS AND WHAT YOU ORDERED 

this will save time ..I can just send out a replacement

 at this moment in time I spend most of my hours , hospital and with Pete 

I have very little time for getting to my PC 

thank you for all of the phone calls ,,,PMs and e.mails ..at the moment I cant get around to answering them all 

We are hopefull and positive ..we will beat this evil illness that has taken over our life right now 

Im more behind than I thought I would be
and I spent most of today sorting out my work room ...
Pete wants me to return to some form of normality
but Im finding it hard to settle
but
Etsy sales will be the weekend ( 6th and 7th )
Lati white ...Unoa and Blythe size

clothes will have to be next month

light at the end of the tunnel

Pete has been away from me a week ...and its slaying me
Im exhausted I out of the house more times than Im in ...I havent got much done this week at all

but everyone who is waiting for an order now ..it will be shipped next week ..Pete is comming out of hospital tommorow and although he is still in bed ..I shall be working from home ...so I can look after him and get the wigs done and the dolls out

thank you everyone for bearing with me xx

away from the Pc

Im checking in for orders and e.mails
every couple of days

thank you everyone who is preying ..sending healing Vibes and wishing us well
it means so much to me ..to us ..thank you

especially Ragna ..she has kept me focused
and Jean ,she has been my rock

Pete is in Hospital ..the operation went well ..were hopeing now to get the results of the Cat scan
but he is well ..eating chocolate ..thats my Man ..and I love him for it
and he wants to get back hope to the Van ...

APRIL ..TOTNES ! we have it planned

on the way...

Clent in autumn, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf -today is better xx.

all of the dolls were sent out Friday ..and I have all the addresses and wig orders printed off for next week ..those will go out by the end of this week
so if your waiting for a wig order ...next week

we have had 2 beautiful Autumn weekends ..Pete is healing well ..we can manage a short walk ...so we do
Im hoping we get one more ..beautiful day next Sunday ..although Pete has to phone
the Hospital Sunday to book his bed for Monday ..then he has to have his operation
1 more weekend this Autumn would be nice ..because he is going to be off his feet for 6-8 weeks
He has his pre-op Monday ...MRI Thursday ...then phone Sunday ..in Monday

I dont think Im going to be totally happy until its out of him and we get the results back from the Scan ...and we know what were up against
but every day we live it to its fullest ...we are dressing the house up next week for Halloween :)
Its not going to beat us !

another day ....

Gina, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ....today is a good day.

felling a bit low today ..everything fells like its moving so slowly ..yet its not ..not really

we got the appointment 21st ..for a Cat scan , hbut no news yet on the operation
if the second letter isnt with us by Monday Im phoneing

I thought I would post Gina here ..the picture makes me smile ..anything to make us smile right now