at last its done ..
what a difference a week can make
I have opened my shop again and am now taking orders
the back orders should be all out by next week ..and new orders July
I have reduced some of the dolls right now on Etsy
and I have some new bears for sale and Im selling off some of my own collection
I have got used to Pete not being with me now ...I lost him a long time ago ..when he became so ill ..and have got used to being on my own
but I will never get over how he died ...ever
that I will have to live with ..but I have no regrets ..everything was said that should have been said, and I did everything within my power to keep him well
now I will keep my last promise to him ...to live ...never forget him ..but I have to live ..and love ..and be happy ..and he made me promise
he didnt want me to be a wailing widow ...he wanted me to be.. me ...Im trying
They say everything happens for a reason ...be dammed if I can see why I lost Pete .. ...I dont believe in God ..but I do believe in Karma and the human spirit .. and Fate , Destiny and Lady Luck ..and they are leading me by the hand ..and I will follow
the back orders should be all out by next week ..and new orders July
I have reduced some of the dolls right now on Etsy
and I have some new bears for sale and Im selling off some of my own collection
I have got used to Pete not being with me now ...I lost him a long time ago ..when he became so ill ..and have got used to being on my own
but I will never get over how he died ...ever
that I will have to live with ..but I have no regrets ..everything was said that should have been said, and I did everything within my power to keep him well
now I will keep my last promise to him ...to live ...never forget him ..but I have to live ..and love ..and be happy ..and he made me promise
he didnt want me to be a wailing widow ...he wanted me to be.. me ...Im trying
They say everything happens for a reason ...be dammed if I can see why I lost Pete .. ...I dont believe in God ..but I do believe in Karma and the human spirit .. and Fate , Destiny and Lady Luck ..and they are leading me by the hand ..and I will follow
1 step forward ...2 steps back
I cant believe its been almost 2 months ...and still everyday throws up its challenges ... back orders are slowly going out ...much slower than I thought ..but I still spend most my days trying to sort out this hell that Im living in
Paperwork and even more paperwork ...wondering when I will feel anything like normal ..and not drowning all the time :(
I cant remember feeling anything other than sick to my stomach ....
bad week ..June started out bad
Paperwork and even more paperwork ...wondering when I will feel anything like normal ..and not drowning all the time :(
I cant remember feeling anything other than sick to my stomach ....
bad week ..June started out bad
A Great Relationship Happens When Two People Who Truly Understand Each Other and Love Each Other for Who They Are Come Together and Create Something Stronger Than Either of Them Could Ever Be on Their Own
and that summed us up
Im so grateful for what I had ...he made me a better person ..and gave me the strength to do what I have to do
the bag of wig orders that were supposed to be posted before Pete took ill have been posted ...Etsy sales that were to be posted are going now
slowly things are creeping back to normality
Pete love of my life passed away 25th April 2011
mornings are worse
I have to face the day knowing he isnt going to be there ,
I made him a promise ..I get dressed throw on my make up and face the day without him
Im as brave as I can be ..and thats what he wanted ..but
God I miss him
For anyone who has been waiting for me to contact them
I am using Petes laptop
Pete has been given days to live ..he is desperately poorly and in need of 24 hr care and I just cant leave him..I have been told again it will be soon
I cant even begin to say how I feel or what our family is going through
all I can say its evil and cruel
I have a load of back orders and there is a bag somewere of wigs I just havent posted and Im not taking orders just yet
I cant even think about getting anything done ..but I can promis ..and I swear your orders will be sent as soon as I can ...I will also be taking orders again ...as soon as I have sorted my head out and got out all the back orders
Pete is seriously ill right now ...Im not on line much at all ..at the momment Im all over the place
Things are delayed being made and sent
I had a head come back to me today unclaimed CAROLINE MACANLISS
if you are out there ..your head came back
and I know but cant remember who wanted hands
Results come in today for the tests ..I have never been so scarred in my life
thank you everyone who as left messages , phoned and written
I havent answered many ..but believe me they are appreciated
the sun is shinning ...its a beautiful day ...but my heart is sinking I have a feeling its going to be one of the worse days of my life
back in hospital
3rd time since February :(
but Pete is back in hospital .he wasnt too well since the finish of his radiotherapy
which we put down to the side effects ...but .we had to call the ambulance saturday
they are running more tests on Pete today
his pancreas is enlarged and very painful ..it can be several things ...including the obvious
he isnt allowed to eat and on morphine ...and in much less pain
..and they have taken him off steroids ..and hey ...much less pain :(
.if you are waiting for an answer to a PM , e,mail or Flikr Mail
bear with me ..I have a TON of orders waiting to go and very little time to get them out
e.mails I will get around too over the week
If your waiting for a CURLEY TOTS ..I just havent been able to curl them ...they are almost done ...but not yet
thank you for your patience at this very difficult time
but Pete is back in hospital .he wasnt too well since the finish of his radiotherapy
which we put down to the side effects ...but .we had to call the ambulance saturday
they are running more tests on Pete today
his pancreas is enlarged and very painful ..it can be several things ...including the obvious
he isnt allowed to eat and on morphine ...and in much less pain
..and they have taken him off steroids ..and hey ...much less pain :(
.if you are waiting for an answer to a PM , e,mail or Flikr Mail
bear with me ..I have a TON of orders waiting to go and very little time to get them out
e.mails I will get around too over the week
If your waiting for a CURLEY TOTS ..I just havent been able to curl them ...they are almost done ...but not yet
thank you for your patience at this very difficult time
My constant companion
Lola is never too far away from me bless her
well its Thursday
Pete is still quite ill ..but we have been to the Hospital this week and the Drs
all of them have said ..its the Radiotherapy and Meds not the cancer making him ill
and at this stage he still has a fighting chance ...so that made us feel better
on a positive note ..although he is poorly
he is eating like a horse ..thats my man xx
..
Mac for MacMillan Cancer Support
another day and Pete is still ill
last Wednesday and Thursday he looked so well ...and then wham !
he just has no energy at all ..his head is fuzzy ...and there is that little cough ..that he hasn't noticed ...but I have
and my heart sinks ..
so I go through the motions of living ..whilst he is upstairs sleeping ..
Im downstairs
washing up ..ironing ..hovering ..all the things he has always done
I miss him so much just being by me ..and I hate him being so ill
and its very hard to stay focused and positive and get my work done
but tomorrow we will see his surgeon ..and I am thinking of talking to Tracy ..I have that scream caught in my throat again
..so I write it down here instead of screaming
every day on Facebook I put what makes me smile ...every day something has to make me smile ..
because I am scarred of loosing me
Pete always says Im always laughing and always smileing
no..... he says I would laugh if my fanny was on fire ...LOL
but its bloody hard to do it some days ...but if I dont ..then I am gone ..and this sad me is here ...and Pete dosnt need that sad me ...he needs me
so I smile
this week Im sorting out the delayed wigs
and the Etsy custom orders
Ebay sales ...Im waiting for the bubble wrap to come then they will go out too
last Wednesday and Thursday he looked so well ...and then wham !
he just has no energy at all ..his head is fuzzy ...and there is that little cough ..that he hasn't noticed ...but I have
and my heart sinks ..
so I go through the motions of living ..whilst he is upstairs sleeping ..
Im downstairs
washing up ..ironing ..hovering ..all the things he has always done
I miss him so much just being by me ..and I hate him being so ill
and its very hard to stay focused and positive and get my work done
but tomorrow we will see his surgeon ..and I am thinking of talking to Tracy ..I have that scream caught in my throat again
..so I write it down here instead of screaming
every day on Facebook I put what makes me smile ...every day something has to make me smile ..
because I am scarred of loosing me
Pete always says Im always laughing and always smileing
no..... he says I would laugh if my fanny was on fire ...LOL
but its bloody hard to do it some days ...but if I dont ..then I am gone ..and this sad me is here ...and Pete dosnt need that sad me ...he needs me
so I smile
this week Im sorting out the delayed wigs
and the Etsy custom orders
Ebay sales ...Im waiting for the bubble wrap to come then they will go out too
Chemo didnt work
right now we feel like Ok whats next
all of the lesions he has are under 1 cm ..we have been told thats good
7 in his lungs ...2 in the lymph glands under his armpits
2 in his chest lymph nodes
and we still dont know if the brain tumour has shrunk
he has skin cancer in his abdomen ..groin and his back ...
they are pinning all hopes on immune-therapy
I feel like I have been hit by a train
and reading everything I can get my hands on about strenghtening the immune system
and natural vitamins that help healthy cells recognise cancer cells and fight them
..there is a lot of stuff out there ..its just finding it and sifting through it
we have to get Pete strong again so he can take the treatment
steroids and the brain tumour have taken their toll
they are monitoring him closely
on a possitive note he is Ok ..he is weak ..and frustraited ..
but so so strong willed and brave ..he always was my hero ..he is even more now
on a SleepingElf Note ...dolls ordered will go out now ..I just havent been able to post
and I have a HUGE batch of wigs that will go out the end of this week xx
right now we feel like Ok whats next
all of the lesions he has are under 1 cm ..we have been told thats good
7 in his lungs ...2 in the lymph glands under his armpits
2 in his chest lymph nodes
and we still dont know if the brain tumour has shrunk
he has skin cancer in his abdomen ..groin and his back ...
they are pinning all hopes on immune-therapy
I feel like I have been hit by a train
and reading everything I can get my hands on about strenghtening the immune system
and natural vitamins that help healthy cells recognise cancer cells and fight them
..there is a lot of stuff out there ..its just finding it and sifting through it
we have to get Pete strong again so he can take the treatment
steroids and the brain tumour have taken their toll
they are monitoring him closely
on a possitive note he is Ok ..he is weak ..and frustraited ..
but so so strong willed and brave ..he always was my hero ..he is even more now
on a SleepingElf Note ...dolls ordered will go out now ..I just havent been able to post
and I have a HUGE batch of wigs that will go out the end of this week xx
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For anyone who has been waiting for me to contact them I am using Petes laptop Pete has been given days to live ..he is desperately poor...
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https://sleepingelf.etsy.com/ Can’t believe it’s been so long , this year has flown by , dramatic fall , lots of scans and hospital, amazi...