another bad couple of days

Im exhausted
and wonder how on earth I will get work done ..Pete had a pretty good recovery after  the head swelling thing

then another whammy yesterday .his heart
in the early hours he woke ..then woke me ..cut a long story short
I rushed him into hospital ..again
his heart is beating way to fast and has gone out of rhythm..its either the Chemo or an underlying heart defect that has just reared its head

Im floored ..just floored ..he hasnt bounced back at all from this and is still in bed
the Demons came to vistit me in the night and left me scarred and worried sick about the future

I cry a lot ..its like being a child again ..I want my husband back to normal ..I want our life back

then an old friend phoned me this morning
he gave me my fight back

"Carrie Attwood let something hurt her Pete ..its not gonna happen"
and he is right
Im going to bitch slap that cow back to were it came from


Im not letting C use up all my energy crying and worrying about what could happen

I have work to do ..a house to run and a bussiness to keep going

and more than anything I have to love and care for my husband ..who is the most wonderful person I have ever known 

and Im going to do it so Im not going to waist any more time blubbering today

today were at home 

tommorow all day hospital
everything I have read about Cancer ..to beat it is an up hill battle ..but its going to have to battle if it wants to take my Pete

Bracken

Bracken, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..happy new year xx.

well I have finally managed to get them listed on Ebay
http://stores.ebay.com/thesleepingelf

£10.00 fro every sale will go to MacMillan Cancer Support
both Pete and I are thrilled with how Milli is going
and so far this week I have raised £40.00 from other sales too

Pete is much better today ..his head is still hurting ..and the med he is on is making him drowsy ..but a far cry from Thursday

3 of the other nodes on his body are shrinking ..so we are optimistic
thats its working

the scan next week will tell us if it is ..if it is ..they will put him on steroids untill the Chemo has done its work ..

but today ..its not a bad day for us at all xx

UPDATE

Pete was rushed into hospital yesterday 
he has been doing so amazingly well ...but this week he started feeling a bit fuzzy headed and had flu like symptoms 
which can happen on this drug he is on 
god it was terrible ...he was in agony ..scarred me shitless 


His doctor thinks the chemotherapy either bought on a mother of a migraine 
in which case it will be gone tommorow 
or the drug  is making the brain swell ..either that or the cancer has reached the brain 
after a whole day of agony ..steroids ..injections to stop him being sick ..by evening he was getting slightly better ..and had stopped being sick 
if its a migraine ..he will be Ok in 24hrs 
if its the Chemo drug ..on the steroids and anti-sickness drugs he will be better in 48 hrs 
if its on his brain ...he wont 


so we came home ..exhausted 


were booked in for a scan next week ... and the  results will be through quickly as his Chemo is on hold .he cant have it again untill they find out if has cancer  on his brain ..the chemo will be stopped and he will have radiotherapy 


 ..it has been a lousy 24hrs ..

Milli

Milli, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..happy new year xx.

and here she is
I feel quite emotional about her ...she was a labour of love
for someone I love ..
without him ..I would have never have been who I am today
this was Pete`s brainchild ...and is for him xx

100% will go to MacMillan Cancer Support

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320638632897&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT#ht_1810wt_1139

its cold outside !

photographing some of the new elves, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..CHRISTMAS IS COMMING ...

so far today its not stopped snowing ..
the roads are appalling ...nothing is going nowhere
Were snuggled up in home ..log fire glowing and Yankie Candles burning
Christmas TV on ..kids are at friends ..and its lovely
going to make Pete some Vege - low fat low sugar mince pies LOL
I feel quite festive ..
The snow is falling thick and fast
and dont care as long as we can get to the hospital Monday for Petes second lot of Chemo .
.I have a 4x4 so we should be OK
looks like the only things moving today are the 4x4s

Im finishing this weeks wigs to go out Tuesday ...our post is diabolical right now ..and post has slowed right down
so I dont expect anything else to arrive before Christmas