Pete is seriously ill right now ...Im not on line much at all ..at the momment Im all over the place

Things are delayed being made and sent

I had a head come back to me today unclaimed CAROLINE MACANLISS
if you are out there ..your head came back
and I know but cant remember who wanted hands

Results come in today for the tests ..I have never been so scarred in my life

thank you everyone who as left messages , phoned and written
I havent answered many ..but believe me they are appreciated

the sun is shinning ...its a beautiful day ...but my heart is sinking I have a feeling its going to be one of the worse days of my life

back in hospital

3rd time since  February :(
but Pete is back in hospital .he wasnt too well since the finish of his radiotherapy
which we put down to the side effects ...but .we had to call the ambulance saturday
they are running more tests on Pete today
his pancreas is enlarged and very painful ..it can be several things ...including the obvious
he isnt allowed to eat and on morphine ...and in much less pain
..and they have taken him off steroids ..and hey ...much less pain :(

.if you are waiting for an answer to a PM , e,mail or Flikr Mail
bear with me ..I have a TON of orders waiting to go and very little time to get them out

e.mails I will get around too over the week

If your waiting for a CURLEY TOTS ..I just havent been able to curl them ...they are almost done ...but not yet
thank you for your patience at this very difficult time

My constant companion

My constant companion, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..dreaming of holidays xx.

Lola is never too far away from me bless her
well its Thursday
Pete is still quite ill ..but we have been to the Hospital this week and the Drs
all of them have said ..its the Radiotherapy and Meds not the cancer making him ill
and at this stage he still has a fighting chance ...so that made us feel better
on a positive note ..although he is poorly
he is eating like a horse ..thats my man xx


..

Mac for MacMillan Cancer Support

Mac, originally uploaded by Sleeping Elf ..dreaming of holidays xx.

another day and Pete is still ill
last Wednesday and Thursday he looked so well ...and then wham !
he just has no energy at all ..his head is fuzzy ...and there is that little cough ..that he hasn't noticed ...but I have
and my heart sinks ..
so I go through the motions of living ..whilst he is upstairs sleeping ..
Im downstairs
washing up ..ironing ..hovering ..all the things he has always done
I miss him so much just being by me ..and I hate him being so ill
and its very hard to stay focused and positive and get my work done
but tomorrow we will see his surgeon ..and I am thinking of talking to Tracy ..I have that scream caught in my throat again
..so I write it down here instead of screaming

every day on Facebook I put what makes me smile ...every day something has to make me smile ..
because I am scarred of loosing me
Pete always says Im always laughing and always smileing
no..... he says I would laugh if my fanny was on fire ...LOL
but its bloody hard to do it some days ...but if I dont ..then I am gone ..and this sad me is here ...and Pete dosnt need that sad me ...he needs me
so I smile

this week Im sorting out the delayed wigs
and the Etsy custom orders

Ebay sales ...Im waiting for the bubble wrap to come then they will go out too

Chemo didnt work
right now we feel like Ok whats next

all of the lesions he has are under 1 cm ..we have been told thats good
7 in his lungs ...2 in the lymph glands under his armpits
2 in his chest lymph nodes

and we still dont know if the brain tumour has shrunk

he has skin cancer in his abdomen ..groin and his back ...
they are pinning all hopes on immune-therapy

I feel like I have been hit by a train
and reading everything I can get my hands on about strenghtening the immune system
and natural vitamins that help healthy cells recognise cancer cells and fight them

..there is a lot of stuff out there ..its just finding it and sifting through it

we have to get Pete strong again so he can take the treatment
steroids and the brain tumour have taken their toll
they are monitoring him closely

on a possitive note  he is Ok ..he is weak ..and frustraited ..
but so so strong willed and brave ..he always was my hero ..he is even more now

on a SleepingElf Note ...dolls ordered will go out now ..I just havent been able to post
and I have a HUGE batch of wigs that will go out the end of this week xx