Rainbow of Stars

Rainbow of Stars, originally uploaded by sleepingelf.

at last its done ..

what a difference a week can make

I have opened my shop again and am now taking orders 
the back orders should be all out by next week ..and new orders July 


I have reduced some of the dolls right now on Etsy 
and I have some new bears for sale and Im selling off some of my own collection  



I have got used to Pete not being with me now ...I lost him a long time ago ..when he became so ill  ..and have got used to being on my own
but I will never get over how he died ...ever
that I will have to live with ..but I have no regrets ..everything was said that should have been said, and I did everything within my power to keep him well
now I will keep my last promise to him ...to live ...never forget him ..but I have to live ..and love ..and be happy ..and he made me promise
he didnt want me to be a wailing widow ...he wanted me to be.. me ...Im trying

They say everything happens for a reason ...be dammed if I can see why I lost Pete .. ...I dont believe in God ..but I do believe in Karma and the human spirit .. and  Fate , Destiny  and Lady Luck ..and they are leading me by the hand ..and I will follow

1 step forward ...2 steps back

I cant believe its been almost 2 months ...and still everyday throws up its challenges ... back orders are slowly going out ...much slower than I thought ..but I still spend most my days trying to sort out this hell that Im living in

Paperwork and even more paperwork ...wondering when I will feel anything like normal ..and not drowning all the time :(
I cant remember feeling anything other than sick to my stomach ....

bad week ..June started out bad

A Great Relationship Happens When Two People Who Truly Understand Each Other and Love Each Other for Who They Are Come Together and Create Something Stronger Than Either of Them Could Ever Be on Their Own

and that summed us up
  Im so grateful for what I had ...he made me a better person ..and gave me the strength to do what I have to do


the bag of wig orders that were supposed to be posted before Pete took ill have been posted ...Etsy sales that were to be posted are going now

slowly things are creeping back to normality  

Pete love of my life passed away 25th April 2011

Pete love of my life passed away 25th April 2011, originally uploaded by a difficult time.

mornings are worse
I have to face the day knowing he isnt going to be there ,
I made him a promise ..I get dressed throw on my make up and face the day without him
Im as brave as I can be ..and thats what he wanted ..but
God I miss him